Margot Sheppard

Virtual Exhibition

Group Catalogue Site

Healing is the Night

‘Comorbid insomnia’ was the term given to me. Insomnia that occurs with another condition, which in my case is anxiety. Habitual sleeplessness, wakefulness, watchfulness and restlessness are the most common synonyms describing this condition.

The body typically reacts to perceived danger by fighting, fleeing or freezing. Anxiety can likewise be a survival mechanism in reaction to fear. Our body sees the cause of anxiety as a danger, and considers options to defend itself. One possible choice is to keep the mind/body awake or alert. Anxiety is usually caused by very specific triggers (such as phobias) associated with one’s everyday life.

Being productive late at night and in the early hours of the morning was initially a way of distracting myself from the anxiety I felt lying in my bed and not being able to sleep. It led to photographing at night and completing other assignments that needed to be done. My photography has become a therapeutic process helping me battle my anxiety and insomnia. I have committed myself to this coping mechanism for my own well-being. Through the practice of photography I have also shown understanding of my living space and neighbourhood by exploring it nocturnally. I would therefore describe photography as a ritual or a remedy that I do before bedtime to calm my mind and body, like drinking honey and warm milk, meditation or yoga function as relaxation strategies for others.

In this series of photographs I have aimed to show a personal observation of my home and neighbourhood, and how I have become more familiar and comfortable with being awake in these spaces at night. I have developed a commensal relationship with the night, appreciating the benefits it brings.

The colour in my photographs is unrealistic, enhanced or brightened at night by artificial lights such as a lamp, laptop screen, phone light and a few lights left on around my home. I have also exaggerated the light even more by photographing with longer exposures, which lighten the photograph, familiarising my environment a bit more. I have aimed to portray tranquillity and aloneness, but also comfortability with this aloneness. The warm tones – such as the yellows, oranges and browns – enhance this sense of ease, where the colder colours create a sense of contemplation.

An inspiration of mine has been Ashley Walters, particularly his engagement with his home environment in a series called *Uitsig*. Walters is a South African artist who grew up in the suburb of Uitsig in Cape Town, an area quite like where I stay, commonly referred to as a ‘Coloured area’. He has a critical approach to the behaviours and processes of urban living, showing an interest in everyday life and public spaces. In his photography, intimacy as well as distant observation are his subjects. This relates to my own practice, in which I am connecting to or familiarising myself with the environment. Walters’ technical approach, the way he takes his photographs, has been an even bigger inspiration. His photographs are not staged or posed, but taken as is. The colours of his photographs are enhanced and vibrant, with bright greens, and deep red, grey and brown tones.

My peak productivity is late at night and the early hours of the morning. I have become more familiar with the ominous hours. My photography has helped my intimate familiarity with spaces in my home and outside environment. The aloneness I share with these dark hours is quite comforting, because it allows me to be myself and to find more parts of myself. It is the time I recharge emotionally.